The care/of Index
For those who understand that the right connections—romantic, social, collaborative—are the ultimate edge. Each note explores the art of building partnerships that endure: slow, deliberate, and alive with meaning.
The Proust Questionnaire: A Century-Old Mirror
A few years ago, I was reading Vanity Fair's back page—the Proust Questionnaire—and something clicked.
Some people I wanted to know everything about. Others, I felt nothing. Some were clearly performing, others defensive, a few genuinely engaging.
I could tell within a few answers whether I liked someone. Not based on their accomplishments or their look, but on how they thought. How they expressed themselves.
I realized the questions were doing something that most interviews struggle with: they were quickly cutting to the core of who someone is, or at least, who they're willing to show.
And so I went down a rabbit hole, reading about the questionnaire's century-long history; studying what made certain answers resonate while others fell flat.
The pattern became clear:
- Specificity creates resonance.
- Vulnerability invites curiosity.
- Truth, even uncomfortable truth, builds trust faster than polish ever could.
But more than that, the questionnaire is a deceptively simple way to get people to tell micro stories about their lives.
Here's what makes it so powerful: the very same thing could happen to two people, and they'd tell different stories about it. The meaning we assign to events—that inclination to value one aspect over another—can show with astonishing clarity who someone is.
We're all subconsciously applying a certain filter to the things around us: discarding some, learning from some, totally blind to others. That filter is where character lives. And if you look closely at how someone interprets their own life, you can learn more about them than any list of accomplishments could ever tell you.
Eventually I thought, what if we built matching around this? What if instead of swiping on photos and bios, we started with the stuff that actually matters—who someone is, how they see the world, what they value, what they're working towards?
Below, you'll find an excerpt from Profile 001—my own answers to the same questionnaire that every member fills out. I'm sharing mine publicly because I realize that I'm asking you all to be vulnerable in pursuit of connection, so I'll go first.
(Don't worry—your profile is anonymous by default. You control who gets access to you, and when.)
I also put together some of my favorite snippets from Vanity Fair's archive—answers from celebrities like Hans Zimmer, Joan Didion, and Mindy Kaling that show the range of what's possible. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you think. Some will make you want to know more.
Read them slowly and thoughtfully. Notice who leaves you curious, and who leaves you cold. That feeling—that pull toward someone, or away—is exactly what we're building care/of around.